hurt....

It’s the hurt fermenting within me...
That hurts the most...
It lay dormant for years on end...
Soaked in tears, blood, sweat and semen...
Drowned in all, since ages...
Affecting it, eroding it...corroding it
Replacing its fangs, its venom
With something even more lethal...
Guilt....
They crucified me on the cross of social obligation
They crowned me with infidelity
The barbs hurt just as much...
No easy crown it is...
And I couldn’t say,
“Forgive them almighty for they know not what they do...”
And then it began coursing through my veins...
Guilt...
The most obvious unilateral extension of hurt...
They mastered the art of bottling up my emotions,
They closed their moral fists around my freedom
Held me captive in my own vulnerabilities....
Uneasy love....
And I couldn’t say,
“Glory be in the bondages that thou hast gifted me”
and then it began filling my heart ...
self pity...
the worst manifestation of love...
They carved out their slabs of achievement and glory
They made a deity out of me
Circumambulated around my being...
Frozen into stone of responsibility and respect...
A heavy price for a pedestal...
And I couldn’t say,
“God of your dreams resides within my mortal cage”
and then it began rotting...
my ideas of self worth and existence...
Hurt kept manifesting...
Getting ruined in tears and fears...
Till the brew grew potent and dangerous...
Heady and challenging
A potion the witch threw out from her cauldron
Too useless to be magical,
Too charged to be evil...
Somewhere the fluid hissed its way into the earth...
Seeping, slithering and penetrating...
Leaving behind a few open eyes....
Full of pain, hurt
And longing.....