If the mind is made up
And the night stayed up
Mix the lyrics of your life
With mine
If the melody is made up
And the words have come up
Sing the song of your life
With me
If the lines are played up
And the luck messed up
Cry out the pain
To me
If the hope is given up
And the rope burnt up
Take the thread which binds
You to me…
Sing the song of your heart
Till ears of my soul fill up with the melody
Of simplicity
Paint the dream of your eyes
Till the canvas of my palm
Is colorful enough to hide
My destiny
Pluck the flowers of love
Till my garden of solitude
Is blooming with the fragrance
Of your memories
Take my hand and lead me
Onto the ladder of uncertainty
Till the moon kisses me
Through the clouds…
Keep singing, keep painting
Till the hope in my voice
Echoes through you…
Simple verse came late to me
Like spring in autumn’s medley
I thought you’d love to be…
The dream of my eyes, you could see
The string of your shoe binds me
To your shoe and to you
Dragging along like a ragged doll
Everywhere you took me
Bumping off my every dream
Song and the rainbow in me
On and on went on your song
Till my words were drowned in me
Abandoned on the shore
Today as you leave me
Though very late
But through heaven’s gate
Simple verse full of love
Just came to me…
Let’s share the bowls of breaths
You take a fistful
I’ll take a few
Breathe out the old
And breathe in the new
Lets crack open a few dreams
You take a fistful
I’ll take a few
Crack open the shell
And pop in a dream
Let’s plant the hope seeds
You take a fistful
I’ll take a few
Press in real deep
Let hope grow anew
Let’s play with the rainbow laces
You hold a fistful
I’ll pull a few
Tie them in your hair
And braid in the dew….
When you are with me
I close my eyes to the world
Your lips tell me then
The taste of your smile’s curl
When you are with me
I slip through the skin of me
Your touch tells me
The height of agony and ecstasy
When you are with me
I put my brush away
Your hands show me
That it’s next day….
Crafted out of ashes,
Sleek, grey and alluring
Shades of ebony and white
Long and strong
Swift and agile
Tampered with fire
And baptized by embers
Her claws were still burning
While her plummet was being modeled
Fiery golden eyes brimmed with purple patience
Nothingness of past lives had wizened her...
As the wind romanced and cajoled her virgin plumage
To lift off and soar in the skies
Her world, her ambit and her destiny
One final look
Out of the smoke and into the heavens
There she flew
Pulsating with heat
Her newly molten bones
Hallowed with energy
Clutched the winds
And thrust upon the skies
Her wings dusted with ashes...
One ultimate screech of victory
Over the mountains, over the plains
Over the seas, over the lakes
Conquering fears and complexes
Vanquishing doubts and piercing through convictions
She did what she knew best
She flew and she flew
Till memories of her burning self were extinguished
One moment she saw the
The other moment she plunged
To drown the memories of lifetimes....
She rose to meet a new destiny
She soared and glided past elevated truths
She transcended the spheres of knowledge
She gained what she lost
And lost what she gained
An arduous journey she took...
She flew and she flew
Till she smelt the familiar
The real and the certain
Her plumage caught fire
Mid flight again
Death caught up with her
Burning and flying
Flying and burning
She flapped incessantly
Hoping to make it
Make it to the Baikal
She wanted to live
She wanted to extinguish the fire
Burning within her soul
Strange are the desires of the soul
To burn and be born
To be born to burn
The flame scorching her heart
Had other desires
Slowly scattering ashes
A being was being unmade
Bit by bit losing herself
Ego and all
She was burning
Burning bright
And flying right
Through her death
Her golden eyes
Reflected the deep Baikal
Now calm as the blues of Baikal
The purple passion faded out
Till the orange hues licked them
Slowly circling the mammoth lake
Scattering ashes she fell from the skies
Like a comet or a star maybe
But content that she won’t be born again
For the winds and water had devoured her past
Remnants of all her deeds and lifetimes
She made it
She broke the curse...
Of the phoenix....
To be born again out of ashes....
Well finally quarter of the century gone...and pray how do i feel???
Old? jaded?bored?or rather tired?of living....
The circumstances in which i turned 25 were absolute perfect...i was at home!with parents and close friends and well still reliving the charm of birthdays at home!!!strange but true i was totally happy about the cakes and candles birthday, the aukskhan by mom and my my a house full of nishigandha!!!
The contemplation kept happening for quite a while...what is it all about?
living loving or something more?
What have i got in 25 years seems a selfish thought and what i gave in 25 years seems vain....
I began my research with the oldest method...comparison, with other 25 year olds... obvious subjects were by friends and colleagues, what is it that they have come to achieve at 25, what is it that i have come to achieve at 25 and finally am i happy with what i have achieved and are they all happy about themselves at this stage? What is the probable next stage of life? When next would be the ideal time to reflect about life and its purpose? Round and round i went till i came to a point that we all had in abundance, everything we pined for once upon a time...
At some point the comparison stopped, began looking at my own self...over the years...only to realize that i was indeed happy, rather should be...i have all that i wished for, once upon a time and more....i remember some of my diary pages stating my ideal salary at 25, ideal situations, ideal weight as well...today i have all of it, albeit a bit more...but then what am i doing? ruing about it all.....well that is the irony of life, we wish for certain things and when we have achieved them, we feel left out and out smarted by other circumstances....
I questioned myself...who am i? what is the purpose of my being? why am i still existing? and i am yet to find rational and acceptable answers to all these questions...One more question posed before me....did i forget something? the answer was yes!yes indeed! i had forgotten to be grateful! grateful for so many things that i had been taken for granted for my entire life! my fit body! my mind, my brain, my looks, my qualifications, my laptop, internet all all....the assumptions seem Marie Antoinette like if i really open my eyes to see the world of so many other 25 year olds....
On deeper delving i realized i had indeed changed in the past 5 years and so rapidly! the transition was scary at a point when i realized that certain changes were permanent and shall never be the same again....be it the time spent doing nothing at all, playing with clay or even simply trusting people about all they said and did...
Trust is eroding so fast i can hardly believe myself at times....
i feel distressed if i cant play with words for a while....
i feel bored without my dose of shopping...
i feel handicapped and marooned without cell phones and internet...
gosh...where am i heading?
fine...
then came a point..do i still enjoy poetry?nature?silence?
solitude?grace?tears?the written word?the unsaid emotion?
i calmed down a bit....
is the spark in my eyes still alive? do my eyes light up at the mere mention of interesting things?
well....do i still love flowers? do i find travel interesting? do i blush these days?
am i finding all these parameters trivial?
do hand written letters, greeting cards, notes light up my day?
do i still believe in dreams and their power to alter life?
yes.....i do...
dreams make life so very "live"able for me....
am yet to dig out the buried emotions, yet to replant the bushels of memories, spruce up the long forgotten bushes of friendship camaraderie and love...water it all with honest tears and well....shade it with innocence and faith in all good things of life...
if i don’t do it religiously, i realize i have very little left to pass on to the next generation, a legacy of hope, of love, of innocence, of faith and most importantly the power of dreams.....
what do honest words do to an expressing medium?
dilute the pleasure of spiced up gossip....
obscure yet mine...thoughts from the mind's mill...
