I sense you..so far...sitting across and intently gazing into my eyes...Osho says the chase is exciting...so we all get a thrill out of it...then it gets all monotonous...i simply couldn't outlive that monotony...n now they'll slit my throat...under anesthesia of course...how i wished you would be there holding my hand while i regain my senses..mutter you name...so very filmy nah!!!but i actually want you to be there....
Wishing one moment you would do the honours...one moment silent and one moment not being able to live with the thought that someone's gonna hurt me...so what even if its for my good...
You always want to protect me...dont you??
why does you gaze have to be so intense always???
just like my prince charming...
Get me nishigandha in the hospital....
I want you to see the delight in my eyes when i see those colourless flowers...tuberoses!!!i bet you would never know!!!
That i love flowers generally...and you bringing them to me especially.....
Will you donate blood? There are more like me...
I need you
I need your blood
I need your being...
and maybe that boredom of yours that drove us apart!!!
To be a predator and act prey!!!
Pray why????
Amen.//

P for Pain

Pain?Any takers?
Addiction?
Any takers?
Well addiction of pain?
Imagine pain, lots of pain...yet you want more...
A craving you cant overcome...
Slowly it drills into your being...
Bit by bit... blowing off those tiny shards of being...
Replacing it by some alien fluid you thought was yours..
There it fuses so brilliantly with black..the newly sprung droplet of blood..
Suddenly it’s a tiny string of droplets..of blood...
Wish could string them n wear them..they’d go best with my latest designer dress...
Now you have more..more of those perfectly formed droplets...
So marveled they are by their being that they forget their discipline...
Their duty..to spring forth and ooze out...
Now there is more drilling...
The mechanical sound fills my ears...
A long forgotten memory from the distant future...
A skilled cosmic dentist clearing plaque from the jaws of Uncertainity...
Making them sharper and more poised for the job...
Now they snap!!!now they nip!
How they grab and rip!
More droplets...now streams...
Pain...more pain
The most testing moment...
Radical and bare
Too true to be analyzed...
Just worth the experience
There filled all the cavities
With colour, with thorns
Jesus must have been a adept lover..
Of her....
Pain....how she torments...
How she lusts and seduces...
Ah Pain...
Now the drill is replaced...
Its needles now...
Warm and moist with blood..
Fresh and flowing....
Like the Nile....
Or the Volga...
Full of blood of patriots and poets...
Of tears and wasted sweat...
But nothing like the Ganga...
Pain is not as pure as her...
She is more sinful
Just like a delicious chocolate cake...
Sinfully alluring and inviting...
Pain..
More of her....
There now it gains
A final delightful shape...
A rose
Without thorns
Pain...
How endearing...
How enduring...
Pain...
A high greater than nicotine and grass
A phase that I just don’t want to pass....